Category Archives: Humor

Joke of the Moment

Why is that so many jokes take place at a bar?

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Arlington, Texas .

After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night–, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the driver over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”
“I doubt it,” said the truly proud TEXAN. “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

Funny Poltical Ad

Check out the Wrestling ad on this page. Right after he says he is working with Hillary Clinton to limit inappropriate material (read censorship) in children’s video games he elbows the wrestler coming up behind him.
First there’s the fact there is no inappropriate material in children’s video games. There is violence and sometimes sexual content in games made for, marketed to and sold to adults but in games rated for kids you’ll have a near impossible time finding material that is “inappropriate.” It is parents who give the games to their kids, even though there is a giant, impossible to miss M on the game.
It’s odd how the liberal big government people in the media gave Republicans a hard time when the whole Janet Jackson Superbowl thing happened, and yet had the Democrats been in charge the exact same fallout would have happened. As a matter of fact, since the Democrats tend to be far more pro-censorship then Republicans they probably would have carried it further then the Republicans did. Of course, had Libertarians been in charge there probably would have been little fallout at all, probably fine for Janet due to public demand, but that would be about it.
Another odd thing is that Santorum was on the video game industry’s side just a few months before when he was one of only 3 Senator’s to stand with the game’s rating board with their educational efforts.
The funniest part of the ad however is that he just finishes talking about censoring violence out of video games and then elbows somebody. So violence is okay in political ads, but not video games?

Honest Comments from Politicians

This from the Page A Day calendar, 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said for 2006 (25 September 2006 entry):

You’re so damned concerened with what the public thinks[,] that it gets in the way of what’s best for us!

The above was said by Jeanette Smith, a city council member for Vista, California. The other council members were against holding a dinner meeting that would be paid for by taxpayers. I guess at least she was honest on wasting taxpayer funds, but better for the rest of the council who were against the dinner.

History of the Mormon Church and What Scientologist Really Believe

South Park, yes South Park, provides a fairly accurate history of the Mormon Church.

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The link above tells how accurate it actually is. So while the video may be funny, it is historically accurate… They do leave out the connections to the Masons, but that perhaps is getting to be a bit too much.

Since we’re on the subject of using South Park to show what some religions believe, here they are showing what Scientologist actually believe (once you get to a high enough level to learn the full truth that is):

[gv data=”54nfNmWo6mw”][/gv]

No kidding, they are not making that stuff up. More at Operation Clambake.

More Proof Congress is Out of Touch with Reality

As if we needed more proof that Congress has no idea what is going on in the real world, Jon Stewart poked fun at the House of Representatives waste of tax payer dollars, hearings on the effects of video games on children. Check it out the clip at Comedy Central. Most shocking at the end is the Representative from PA who admits that rich children in the suburbs wouldn’t be effected, but poor kids will… get this, as rich kids in the suburbs don’t do drugs or steal cars as the poor kids do… I am so appalled I don’t even know what to say to that one.
Perhaps it is because of gentlmen like this that we have drug laws… You know cocaine was made illegal, not because the way white people used it, nobody had a problem with white people using it, but because people in the South were afraid of blacks on cocaine… marijuana was made illegal at the start as a way of forcing Mexican immigrants back south of the border… crack possession/distribution is punished far more than cocaine possession, despite being the same basic drug, because one appeals more to minorities than cocaine which, in general, is a rich, white person’s drug. The drug laws in this country have always had a racial motivation…
Anyhow, this isn’t another post about the horror that is the drug war in America, this is a post about Congress buying into the bull crap fed to them, since they don’t know anything themselves. They just sit around in their multi-million dollar homes, taking money from and believing the lies coming from the special interests who are willing to put the most money down on their postilion, regardless of how bad it is for the American people. The telcoms spent more money to keep net-neutrality down for the moment and won. There is another effort to insert a broadcast flag despite the harm it will cause to us citizens becaue Hollywoood and the recording industry want it. The tobacco, alcohol, clothing, pesticide and pharmaceutical companies, among others, spend tons to keep certain drugs illegal, even though some would be far more beneficial to society then their products. Then there are those who want to control everything we do, < cough > Hillary Clinton, Joe Liberman, Patriot Act backers (sadly, mostly Republicans in that regard) < / cough >, and part of that control is to control the entertainment industry. They would say, “You certainly can’t have something that may encourage free thought in a free society!”
It is simple. The video game industry has a very simple to understand rating system. Most retailers follow the ratings system, just as most movie theaters follow the movie rating system. Most of the violent video games are purchased by people over the age of 18. It isn’t like the games hide their ratings, they are huge letters, generally right on the front, far more noticeable than movie ratings on a DVD for example.
I have to agree when Jon at one point makes fun of the one guy who complains about what he watches what his kids plays, but does nothing. Again it comes down to parenting. Some people want the government to parent their kids for them, unfortunately, while these people are in the minority, they are the ones who have the government’s ears. They want to assign blame for anything kids may do wrong to people other then the kids themselves or those directly around them who could have a positive effect on their lives if they would just take action. They want to blame movies and games for Columbine, while ignoring the fact that the parents paid no attention to their kids building bombs in their home, and other actions the kids made that clearly showed that things could have been stopped ages before anything happened if they weren’t so engrossed in their own miserable lives and paid attention to their kids. These people want to blame a cartoon for a kid starting a house fire, despite the fact the kid caused several fires before that. These people don’t believe in training a child in the way they should go, but just ignore the child, and what happens happens, but if it is something bad, blame somebody else but them.
Kick them all out of Washington. Time to vote third party… for America’s sake.
Sorry to make such a downer post after such a funny video, but the fact that these idiots in Congress are spending tons of money to hold these hearings, rather then say “Hey! Idiots! There is a label on the box! Read it. Don’t but it for your kids if you don’t like it. And hey, here’s a novel idea, turn the game off if you think things are too out of hand. You are the parent. Be one.”

One of the Coolest of the Diet Coke Meets Mentos Videos I Have Seen

How is that for a long title? Anyhow, as it says, this is one of the coolest Diet Coke/Mentos videos I have seen yet.
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Then for one of the coolest of the Diet Coke/Mentos “rocket” videos we have:
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There are a ton of Diet Coke/Mentos videos out there, these two seem the cream of the crop so far.
Hattip on the first video there to: Ceejayoz.com, I can’t remember where I first saw the rocket video.

Brokeback to the Future

What happens if you combine Brokeback Mountain and the Back to the Future films? See the trailer in Quicktime, Small or Large formats. This trailer combines scenes from the Back to the Future films, with the music and implications from Brokeback Mountain. It is done by a comedy troupe from Emerson College called Chocolate Cake City. Their servers seem to be a bit slow, so you may have better luck with the trailer at iFilm… of course it could be that my computer is slow at the moment…